What?
by Katanari
Summary: Riko is resigned, Night is a robot, and Soushi gets a new 'boyfriend'.


Absolute Boyfriend, Soushi/Night, PG-13.

This is not very good. But I blame tiredness and a bad week on that. Dashed this off after I'd read a few chapters of Absolute Boyfriend, so it's probably not canonically correct. So, AU then! The ending is rather strange, but I don't expect I shall be continuing this.

* * *

Even as he reflected on the incident, some four or five years later, Soushi still thought that no, there was no way he could have seen it coming.

When he'd stumbled, tripped over some random thing in the doorway, how was he supposed to know that his lips would meet Night's surprised ones? And how in hell was he supposed to guess that this would cause the figurine (and, in all honesty, how could he have known that, either?) to suddenly fall in 'love' with him and pronounce him his 'boyfriend'?

Soushi hadn't really known how to react to _that_.

* * *

At first, he'd been indescribably angry. How dare, how _dare_ that bastard just throw Riko away like that? She'd been standing right behind Night as he caught Soushi, and had been standing _right there_ as the figurine confessed his 'love' to him. What about Riko, he'd asked, shocked. What about her, had been the cold reply.

When Soushi had punched Night in the gut, vaguely surprised that the other hadn't dodged, Night's expression had been hurt. Like he'd been betrayed. What the hell?

Riko, on the other hand, hadn't looked that hurt, just tired and resigned. She'd asked Soushi to ask Night to leave them alone for a while, and Soushi had obliged, confused and angry, sending Night outside, again surprised at the lack of resistance.

With a small, regretful smile, Riko had explained, and it all made sense, all of it. From the super-human speed to the strange jobs, to the weird Gaku guy who had been popping up everywhere lately.

Apparently, Night thought he was Soushi's boyfriend, and would until she kissed Night, or he kissed someone else.

"Why don't you just return him?" he had asked, holding her hand and wishing. "Isn't my love worth more than a jumble of circuits?" His eyes had itched at the thought of her choosing _him_ over Soushi, who was actually a _human_, goddamnit.

But she had looked into his eyes and he had seen the indecision and the pain there. Yes, she knew that Night was a figurine. But somehow, she loved him anyway. He didn't understand it, she deserved so much more than that fake, but had conceded anyway.

They had had a hard time deciding what to do. Soushi, obviously, did not want Night's affections, and was all for getting him to kiss some stranger, or returning him to Gaku. On the other hand, Riko had looked close to tears when he had suggested a stranger, and she didn't look like she was going to return Night anytime soon to 'that pervert cosplaying salesman'.

Gaku had appeared at this point, to volunteer his oh-so-helpful opinion that he didn't particularly care where Night ended up as long as he could continue collecting data. He had seemed completely unaffected by Soushi's glare. Souchi almost punched him too.

In the end, it had been decided that Night should stay in Soushi's apartment for the night, since he really would have been more of a bother to Riko in his current state than a help. Night had been ordered to stay in the bathroom while Soushi slept, lest he cause anymore trouble. The robot had complied with a dazzling smile and a "Sure, boyfriend!". Soushi, dodging the well-aimed kiss, had shut the door on him. Hard.

Surprisingly, Soushi had slept pretty well that night, but the sight that had greeted him that morning as he staggered blearily into his kitchen without his glasses on for his much-needed coffee had completely ruined every well-meaning chance of a good day.

Breakfast was laid out on the table like a feast for a king. Soushi had wondered where in heaven's name Night had found the fancy table settings as he shouted at the figurine to go stay in the damn bathroom. He didn't even _like_ eggs.

He had known then and there that this day, no, this _week_, was _not_ going to go well.

* * *

2008

Katanari

* * *


End file.
